Pilgrimage for panties

It was a heated debate, spit landed on my face as Seth spoke, loudly, aggressively, gesturing with a fist and veiny arms. "Not in here, Not up in here!" It was final, there was no way out, we had to see for ourselves. As we boarded the plane I tried to argue my view, "I just dont believe that there are really used panty vending machines in Japan." It was a tight squeeze in the isle but i managed to pull my luggage through, clumsily knocking into the elderly and spilling children's sippy cups. Seth followed closely behind me, really sticking to his beliefs, "Dude, ive seen them.... I will not tolerate this kind of insabordicraytion, not here, not ever. You will see."the fire in his eyes spoke more loudly than his words. The flight was long, they played He's just not that into you. 3 times. Our in flight meal was decent but lacked Cray, and the cocktails were weak. A very large man sat behind me, his stomach rubbed the back of my seat and with every heavy breath i was rocked back and forth, it was comforting and i was able to sleep like a drunk child.

The air seemed different as I stepped onto the Tokyo streets. The sea of people swirling around me was intoxicating, i felt as if i had no control- being swept away with a current so strong and seductive the scent of asian men hunting asian women became an aphrodisiac.

"5 dollars for a star map?" i asked... Seth assured me it was our map to pirate treasure. The woman selling us the old wrinkled scroll winked at me and told me "the dust is only your grandfathers love, his skin and bones, his essence." I was taken aback by this, i thought she might have a mental disorder but then again she was my lover, she was Tokyo. Our Journey was long the Cray Cray started to leak from my skin. My pours opening up for our biological cycle of warming up and cooling down, sweat glistening and hanging from my hair. Her grip dug deep.

Following dotted lines and crudely drawn arrows Seth and I were sent down a rabbit hole. Unable to speak the language, Seth was constantly pissing off the locals by singing "deck the halls" in the style of "A Christmas Story." We were forced to create shivs out of touthbrushes to fight our ways out of deep dark alleys.

Eventually the lines on the map led us to a hotel vending machine, it was the last of many, many that we had tried. In this machine they sold tampons, cheerios, taco bell, engraved pet collars, party balloons, and sex toys. I saw no school girl panties. I was so hungry i put in 3 american dollars to buy a bag of cheerios, only to find out the buttons were switched and i received a small cheap looking set of anal beads. I could not eat these.

In the end I figured the underwear must of been a myth, as i walked on the escalator with my bags, intending on leaving Japan, right as i was tagging my luggage and cussing at this old asian women i saw it. There it was, a group of asian school girls laying on their backs trying on panty after panty after panty. They laughed while they shared clothing, and wrote themselves blank checks. Bikinis in hand, but never wearing them, they danced. Spreading the business mens money around, laughing while throwing dollar bills in the air.

I couldnt take any more of this. I was starving and broke. I went to the hotel stole the basket on the continental breakfast table and made a meal. It became a Sushi role of green beans, jalepeno poppers, black been burritos, scallions and the standard mix. A cat tried to eat my leftovers and i killed it, im BBQ'ing it right now. I will add it in this part of the recipe when i am done.

Giant sushi role of green beans, black bean burritoes, jalapeno poppers, scallions and awesomeness. The cat was tough and chewy, her babies were a little tastier and i was able to coat them in beer batter before frying them. I feel like their meows only add to the flavor, their harmonies came together and became a sort of theme song for me as i paraded around town. I hear it now Meow Meow, meow, and then a shrill squeal as they go through the burger mill.

okay. i did it, i did that thing i wasnt supposed to. im sorry